Close one door.

April 4, 2018

Sometimes you do open another. There have been many unexpected changes in my life since we separated and the wasband moved out. I think one of the most prominent ones is my feeling of safety overnight. We live in a relatively safe town. The break-ins are relegated to cars mostly. Maybe I have a false sense of security. But now that I am the only adult in the house, I think about our safety significantly more.

 

The wasband wasn't a hulking, intimidating guy. But the plan was always that he would go down and check out the noise/confront the attacker/be a hero and I would wrangle the kids and get them out. It was more divide and conquer than an assignment based on strengths. I don't have that now. That partner to prevent crime. I think I sleep differently. More on alert than ever before. I leave an extra light on downstairs. I am seriously considering an alarm system. Even more so a dog whose bark is worse than its bite.

 

But the biggest change? I sleep with my bedroom door open. (Note: this is NOT my bedroom. Mine is never this clean, where is all the kids crap and there is WAY too much inescapable natural light.) Anyway, leaving the door open seriously cuts down on the amount of sleeping darkness in my room as there is nightlight in the hallway equivalent to the sun. But I leave it open so I can hear any disturbances downstairs and freak out accordingly. Will that allow me to get my kids faster? Probably not. I didn't say it was logical, I just said it was a noticeable change. Before there was safety in closing the door and shutting out the noise and kids for a few blissful hours. Now? It's open so I don't miss a damn thing.

 

Oh, I also lock the gate on the top of the stairs. It's not foolproof or anything but it has stumped many an adult and I figure any extra time I have to get my kids panic-room-style is good. 

Thanks for coming along on this journey with me. Think that what I am saying is worth sharing? Please do. Facebook, Twitter, email, text. Heck, write a note and mail a copy. I accept all kinds. Plus, it'll help a girl out!

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