Comparison hangover.

November 14, 2018

We know this, right? In our hearts we know this. But our brains? Sometimes they go rogue which can be a huge pain in the ass. We look at other people's lives and think they have it all together. Maybe it is their vacation pictures. Or the new car. Or their recent weight loss or child's success in some xyz thing. Maybe you congratulate them in person or online or into the Universe. And maybe that is the end of it. Good for you. Please show me how you do that.

 

But maybe you travel down my mental path full of half-truths and false assignations. Not feeling jealous or spiteful to the friend or stranger. No, not to them. We turn it inward. To our own self worth and self esteem and self confidence. That we don't have those things because we aren't worthy or work hard enough or don't have x or y or z or all of them. Because that person deserves it. But not me.

 

It's not true. Everyone is worthy. Everyone is able. Everyone can have the life they want and deserve. Not without bumps or bruises but they can have it nonetheless. And judging your worth on the highly filtered squares that are curated for the world is the quickest way to bruise yourself. It is likely that while that square is true, it took forty tries to get that shot. Or the mess that is beyond the parameter is the real life part unseen. Or there was a team behind the photo. Nothing that I have the time or finances or desire for. 

 

I pride myself on my truth telling and transparency. And also my laziness which directly impacts my truth telling and transparency. So I stepped away from social media. From Facebook and Instagram. This is business suicide, right? No posts? How will I get my word out? How will I help others the way I have been helped? How will I sell? I didn't think about those things. I don't want to live my life online or use the posts of others as my own litmus test for success. I needed to step away. I put my phone down and looked up at my life and inward into my damaged places. I lived my life in person and not online.

 

Know what I learned? My kids are killing it. They are funny, bright, witty and a lot of fun. Sweet P's language is exploding and if given the chance, she will rule the roost. She absolutely rules her brothers already. I learned there is plenty of time to read books, play games and have dance parties. I learned that our life is awash in blessings, many of which don't translate to a clever post or well-lit square. I learned that I was missing the brilliance of my own life. In the shadow of the brilliance of others'. So, I looked up and I am still smiling. 

 

Put your phone down. Look up. The brightness might surprise you. 

 

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